Award: One (or weekly entry, two)

So, I have thought for...a while...about this. A day or two ago, when the poll looked pretty decisive in favor of Award, I thought "What shall you award, Flynny boy?" and settled on...*bum ba da bum bum BUM BUM!!!* Best Villain that Actually Scared Me!

Now, normal Modus Operandi for these entries will consist of a runners up first, then followed by the actual winner. So, first we have our runners up. It's...oh my goodness, I can't believe it! It's

The Reaper, from "Elfstones of Shannara," by Terry Brooks
Now, for those of you unfamiliar with the work of Mr. Brooks, he writes exclusively about the Fantasy Realm of Shannara, a fictional world...OR IS IT? The books hinted heavily (And, in later installments, explicitly explained) that it is in fact our world, except fundamentally altered by nuclear war, which somehow made magic exist and mutated men into four races: Normal men (Ok, they didn't mutate into that, but whatever) Trolls, Dwarves, and Gnomes. Elves are the only truly non mannish race, and it turns out THEY'RE WATCHING US AS WE SPEAK. Er, but I digress. Mr. Brooks however has a few issues...for instance, his love affair with "wordlessly." He uses it at least four times every five chapters, with a sprinkling of "soundlessly" to add what HE calls variety. His earlier books also were very much derivative of Lord of the Rings, somewhat to their detriment. However, in his second book, "Elfstones," he manages to craft what is actually a compelling narrative. I won't go into detail about the plot, but the enemies are things they call "demons," which are creatures that are sorta like men and animals mixed together but darker, stronger, and twisted. Pretty much none of the demons are described in any great detail. One is described only as being able to change form, one is described in ways that majorly evoke "Witch King" images, and the third...is The Reaper.

The Reaper will always and forever be capitalized in my mind. He is described as being seven feet tall, constantly cloaked in ash gray, with the speed and fluidity of movement of the leetest Elf. It's not his appearance though that gives me chills. It's better summed up in the author's own words: "The Reaper feared nothing. It was a monster who cared nothing for life, even its own. It did not kill because it enjoyed killing, though in truth it did enjoy killing. It killed because killing was instinctive. It killed because it found it necessary." Once The Reaper is loose, he begins to kill. Senselessly, violently, the heroes never meet it until the end of the book. They just find bodies draped and mangled, inhuman strength painting macabre tableaus with its victims. There is something positively terrifying about not only the carnage it wreaks with its bare hands, but the absolute impersonal way in which it is wreaked. I can't begin to properly describe how very scary the Reaper is, but suffice it to say I will be scared spitless if they manage to do him well in the upcoming movie adaption.

Now, the only reason he got runners up was because he died in the end. So, what does that tell you about the winner? Precious little. >:-}> Without further ado, I present you the winner:

Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar, from "Neverwhere," by Neil Gaiman.
Ok, how many out there are Firefly Fans? A several, I see. Let me sum them up like this. I had a dream. In this dream, I was being chased by a semi truck full of Reavers (Not Reapers). The truck was being driven by Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar. I was not sure whether I was more afraid of what was in the front or back. Yes, you read that right. I wasn't sure whether dozens of reapers or these two...men...were scarier. They are hardly physically imposing. Mr. Croup is short and somewhat fat, while Mr. Vandemar is awkwardly proportioned, tall, lanky, and somehow scandinavian. Like the reaper, they live to kill. As Mr. Croup says, they don't make threats. They make promises. They are inhumanly strong, polite, and indestructible. In one scene, Mr. Croup is quite proud of himself, as he has held his hand on the wall and thrown four knives at it, getting each one in between his fingers without hitting them. Mr. Vandemar is less impressed, telling him he did it wrong, he didn't anything. He then puts his own hand on the wall, throws a knife, sticking it straight through the palm of his hand. Mr. Croup ignores him for a while, talking with their employer, than rolls his eyes when he has to help Mr. Vandemar unstick his hand from the wall.

Once again, if you are not the sensitive type, I would recommend you read this book to get a good idea of what a terrifying villain can look like. I find it hard to put into words what terrifies me so much about them. Perhaps it's the fact that they live under london, are pretty much men, and just somehow seem like regular joes, who go around killing lots of people. They already have been screen adapted, but I haven't seen enough of it ot make an informed decision on how well they translated.


New poll will be up shortly, and the first half of this week is Insanity Deluxe. So, Peace out, war in, all that jazz. Oh, and a note about the fourth option in the poll: it will be a wild card, changing from week to week. Flynn out.